Of Television, Shirtless Winchesters and M&M's
by woodnotes
Summary: Magic Fingers, Dr. Sexy, Bitchface!Sam, M&M's and Shirtless!Winchesters. One-shot drabble, birthday present for @buffywoo on Twitter. And no, it's not slash. I don't do slash. Not ever. Ew.


This is a one-short drabble, written as a birthday present for buffywoo on Twitter.

The theme was supposed to be Shirtless!Winchesters, but getting the boys to cooperate isn't always easy, unfortunately. Here's my little try. It's not explicit (unfortunately, some might say) but there's still some shirt off action. It's more of a crack!fic anyways.

So, here goes. Timewise I'd place this somewhere in season 2 of SPN, back when the boys were still happy and had a nice brotherly relationship. Some of the dialogue was snatched from 5x08 'Changing Channels', because hey, everyone loves Dr Sexy. Hope you do too, buffywoo.

And no, it's not slash. I don't do slash. Not ever. Ew.

Happy birthday girl!

* * *

Sigh. Dean Winchester dug his last quarter out of his pocket. How come he always ran out of quarters when he needed to relax? He and Sammy had finished off a simple salt and burn case the same afternoon, and Dean was exhausted now that day was turning into night. Sam was out, getting them dinner, and Dean was enjoying the magic of the 'Magic Fingers'.

With another sigh he let the last quarter fall through the coin hole on the 'Magic Fingers' automat and leaned back against the pillow. He moaned his approval when the bed started vibrating and closed his eyes. If he didn't know Sam would be back any minute, he might just have let his mind wander back to some random chick he'd hooked up with before and work some magic of his own. But he couldn't, not now.

Instead, Dean reached for the remote and turned on the TV. It was pay-per-view, but he didn't care. A fake credit card would take care of that. Now he would only need a beer and some M&M's and the night would be perfect. He zapped through some of the channels until his eyes caught something interesting. His eyes widened as he looked at the screen. It was one of those insane hospital show. This was kind of interesting. Dean watched as a brunette nurse, who was kind of hot, walked up to one of the doctors. The doctor was tall and had a bit of a scruff, and he was sporting messy, brown and tousled hair, longer than Sam's.

_"Doctor Sexy", the woman said and looked longingly at the man._

_He looked back at her with a smirk. "Nurse."_

_And then suddenly she looked pissed off and slapped him. He rubbed his cheek and looked utterly confused. "What was that for?", he asked._

"_Seriously."_

_"What are you talking about, nurse?"_

_"Seriously? You're brilliant, you know that? And a coward. You're a brilliant coward." And then she slapped him again, this time the other cheek._

"Ouch." Dean frowned. That must have hurt. With more fascination than he should have had he continued watching.

"_What was that for?", Dr. Sexy asked and rubbed his other cheek._

"Oh, you totally had it coming, pal", Dean commented. Man, this was good. He really wished he'd have those M&M's now.

"_Like you don't know!", the woman exlaimed and turned her back at Dr. Sexy, storming away from him. He was left there, gawking after her._

"The Hell are you watching?" Dean hadn't even noticed that Sam had already come back. He was holding a tray with two cheeseburgers and two soft drinks from Burger King.

"Hospital show. 'Dr. Sexy, MD.' I think it's based on a book." Dean tried to sound nonchalant.

"When did you hit menopause?", Sam asked and looked at his brother in disbelief.

"It's called channel surfing." Dean turned off the TV and put the remote away. The time on his 'Magic Fingers' had been up a while ago. He would very much have liked continuing to watch the show, but he didn't want to admit to Sam that he was sort of hooked to the drama on the show. And the fact that he had a bit of a man crush on Dr. Sexy. But it was just a tiny crush, and it was only because Dr. Sexy was brilliant and really manly. It didn't make Dean any less of a man.

Dean walked up to Sam and snatched one of the burgers and a drink. "_Coke_", Dean noted, pleased. His brother knew what he liked. Dean unwrapped the burger and started wolfing it down. It didn't take long 'til he was finished and then he licked his fingers and slurped up the drink through the straw. When he was done he looked up at Sam, who was staring as him with his usual bitchface.

"What?", he asked.

"Dude, you need to update your eating habits."

"What's wrong with my eating habits?", Dean asked and grabbed his jacket from the back of one of the chairs in the room.

"Oh, nothing at all", Sam said, pretending to be nonchalant, but his voice was dripping with sarcasm. "They're just a tad bit disgusting."

"Whatever, bitch. Thanks for dinner, I'm going out."

"Jerk. And where are you off to?"

Dean gave Sam his patented grin. "Gonna get a drink and get laid." And with that, he was out the door.

* * *

Sam sighed and looked after his brother. Suddenly he didn't feel all that hungry anymore. Watching Dean eat had robbed him of his appetite, as usual. He should be used to his brothers wolfing of food by now, but he still wished Dean would eat more discretely.

Sam rubbed his jaw and sat down on the edge of his own bed, and reached for the remote. He still couldn't believe Dean had been watching one of those lame ass hospital shows. They were so overly dramatic. He turned on the TV and accidentally happened upon the channel showing Casa Erotica. He gulped as he listened to the sultry voice of the announcer.

"_Next on the 'Skin Channel' - 'Casa Erotica 2', a tale of two Latin beauties..."_

Sam shifted for a bit on the edge of the bed, but he still couldn't tear his eyes away from the TV. He didn't admit to Dean that he too watched porn, and he always felt as guilty about it. It made him feel dirty in ways. But hey, he was a guy too. And since Jessica died... Well, there hadn't been very much real action in his life. And quite frankly, he wasn't ready for it yet. He didn't want to hook up with some random chick at a bar, he needed more meaning.

Another glimpse of the two naked Latin girls making out on a bed on the TV and a quick glance down his pants told him that he needed a cold shower. Quickly he turned off the TV and walked towards the bathroom. Well inside, he turned on the shower and felt the temperature of the water with his fingers. It was already semi-warm. He stepped away from the shower for a moment, while he stripped out of his clothes. A quick glance of his own abs in the mirror told him that he must be doing something right. At least he had nice abs and a six-pack these days. He used to be that scrawny kid when he was younger. Now he was taller than most and he'd been working out enough to do professional fighting à la 'Fight Club'.

He stepped inside the shower and pulled the shower curtain shut. He moaned out loud and ran his hands through his hair when the water hit him. It didn't take long before the light steam and the warm water loosened his sore muscles from the earlier hunt. It felt nice. With a content sigh he reached for the schampoo bottle.

* * *

A few miles from the motel, Dean had already managed to find a girl. She'd been sitting at the bar, in tight jeans and an equally tight t-shirt. She was indeed a feisty little wildcat, even though he'd never say those words out loud. That would just be embarrassing.

She was a redhead, soft auburn locks falling down her shoulders. And those green eyes she sported were spectacular. She wasn't that tall, but then again, he didn't mind. He liked his girls short or tall, as long as they weren't taller than him. But seeing as he was 6'1", that didn't happen very often. Dean was tall, but Sam was... _tall._ Like Gigantor tall.

Dean decided not to give Sam another thought, and instead he focused on the girl. Her name was Cassidy apparently, and she seemed to be willing to talk to him. He'd already bought her a drink, and she'd wanted a beer. His kind of girl.

After half and hour of friendly conversation Dean took another sip out of his beer bottle and placed it down on the bar.

He gave her his patented smirk and the raised eyebrow he knew chicks dug. "So, Cassidy. I think we've been at this long enough. Your place or mine?"

Secretly he was hoping for her to take him to her place, seeing as Sam was currently occupying the motel room they shared. Then again, he could always get another room.

"How about mine?", she said and looked at him seductively.

"_Score_", Dean thought.

"After you, sweetheart", Dean said with a grin. Cassidy put her jacket on and together they walked out of the bar, his hand strategically placed on the small of her back.

Once they reached her apartment and she was searching for the key, he took his chance and leaned in for a tender kiss, the kind he knew would make her head spin. And indeed, she looked back at him with a woozy, starstruck smile as they broke the kiss. She found the key and opened the door to her apartment. She gestured him to go ahead, and he walked inside. He took a quick look around while he listened to her lock the door behind them. He turned around, and before he knew it, he was pounced. Cassidy had her arms around his neck, her lips on his. It didn't take long until they were involved in a heavy, full on groping session, his shirt already on the floor.

Dean smirked into the kiss. "_This is a good night_", he thought. "_Only thing that's still missing are those damn M&M's._"


End file.
